March 19, 2009
I am bald.
The moment I had feared from Day One has come. My hair started thinning around Day 17 of treatment, just as I had heard. By last Friday, my hair was coming out in handfuls and it was pretty difficult to take. Hair was everywhere – all over my clothes, covering my pillow and threatening to clog up the shower drain. That evening, with clippers in hand, Jason shaved my head on the back porch. My friend, Wendy, was there with the camera, but I’m not bold enough to post the images yet! I watched Jason with the clippers in a mirror. I wanted to see what was happening and didn’t want the all-at-once shock of seeing a bald head peering back at me in the mirror. I certainly didn’t like what I saw (and I still don’t!) but Jason insists I have a fabulously shaped head. A few days later, when the stubble wasn’t coming out, we took some duct tape and cleaned up my head! I still have patches of stubble, but most of it is gone. It’s pretty shocking to see myself in the mirror in the morning, but it’s getting easier. I have a few fun wigs that look pretty natural and, paired with hats, I feel comfortable out and about. I went to the gym with just a cap on Wednesday morning, and no one stared! I think I am overestimating others’ interest in my appearance. I think it’s true: most people are so wrapped up in themselves – especially at the gym – that they rarely notice the appearance of others!
Like the first round of chemo, I found that the nausea is well controlled while I’m on the anti-nausea medication, but tougher once it wears off. I had a few rough spots on days five, six and seven, but by day eight I was feeling back to normal. I do have some Zofran that I can take during those times, and I think I’ll take some next round. Feeling “off” physically just throws me off mentally and emotionally as well.
Next infusion is March 24 – Rebecca H.-P. is joining me.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
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10 comments:
I'll bet you do have a fabulously shaped head! What a brave girl you are to just go ahead & get it over with. Without sounding like your mom, I'm proud of you.
I've said similar things before, but I'd love to be able to have a good hair day in a snap...without all the other crap, of course.
Tell that crazy Wendy I said hey!
and she looks darling in the wig I saw her in...I DO have pics but will not post as she may have tweaks and styles and cuts she is still working it through. Truth be told my family did not know it was a wig when they were viewing my pics after our coffee date. She's a hottie regardless...k
Way to go Sheila! you do look amazing in the wig. I know you were dreading THE day when your hair would be gone. I'm proud of your resolve. Just think, every day, you're one day closer to having your hair back!
love, el
There are some upsides...
- Shorter showers added bonus cheaper energy bills
- No salon costs
- When out camping light a match on your stubble
- More aerodynamic resulting in faster times in races
Ribbing aside, again you have demonstrated what the definition of 'strong' really means.
Mucho Love
Brit
x
p.s. Has Wendy blackmailed you with posting pics for your fugly uggs yet?
1. Now Brit that is a fabulous idea, and I don't know why I didn't think of it myself!
2. It's true about Sheila's head and it's really not fair if you ask me. There she is all "sick" and bald and STILL LOOKING BETTER.
3. I have never witnessed a more beautiful moment than watching Jason help shave Sheila's head. It might sound ridiculous, but it was the most amazing display of love I've ever seen.
Sheila, use your supreme writing for fun. My ideas:
1. Write an update to the musical "Hair." Call it "Bald." Instead of Hippies discovering the Age of Acquarious, make it about Wall Street executives discovering the Age of Incarceration.
2. Launch a career as a lyricist. Send tunes to k.d. lang, Annie Lennox and Sinead O'Connor. Rake in the royalties and forgo the gring of journalism forever.
3. Write a manifesto, "The Bald Person's Manifesto." "Bald people of the world unite!" Mount a takeover of L'oreal. Enjoy the perks of being a head of state.
Kidding, of course. You're inspiration to me and others here, Sheila.
I do trust Wendy when she said that Jason helped you shaving your head is a beautiful display of love !
Here it is another step you're facing so bravely.
I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this today:
A few weeks ago, our lab had a group of at-risk kids and an artist come in and paint murals on our sound booth and in our testing room. It was tons of fun to see the kids at work, and the artist insisted that each of us who work in the lab put something on the wall.
The mural in the testing room is all faces in a grid, and I chose to make my mark here. Since we study the workings of the brain, I wanted to show how I think of a brain sometimes, namely as a roadmap. My person is wearing headphones, eyes closed, smiling, and you can see a map from forehead up.
The artist came in and looked at my work. “Don’t you want hair?” she asked.
“No!” I said, more strongly than I’d intended. “This is exactly how she’s suppose to look.”
Then I realized I was painting you. And I think she’s beautiful, even if my artwork leaves something to be desired.
I’ll send you a photo via email…
Wow - I'm imortalized! Great post, Rebecca. I can't wait to see a phot!
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